If you had asked me 2 years ago about mindsets, I probably would have laughed at you. That was before I realised how important it was to change your mindset and allow it to align with your lifestyle.
I talk about this a lot, but when Luna was born I was in struggle town.
Everything seemed impossible, nothing went “my way” and everyone was against me.
It is only in recent years that I have truly learned what it can do for you to change your mindset and using your mental focus to improve every aspect of your life!
What is “mindset”?
Mindset is the term used for all of your thoughts and ideas, which directly influence your habits and lifestyle.
Your mindset is what can turn a shitty situation into something much more bearable, and even productive.
Here is an example
Imagine that you lost your keys and your brain was stressing out.
There are two ways to look at this situation:
1- I’m going to be late. Everything is awful!
- By thinking “everything is awful” you have immediately jumped to a negative
- Your stress levels will thrive off the negativity and both will rise
- You aren’t open to a long-term solution to the issue
- The negativity will then risk seeping into the rest of your day – causing a crappy day!
2 – I’m going to be late! This is not ideal, but it happens to the best of us.
- You realise that this situation is not ideal, but it happens
- You are stressed but aren’t feeding that stress
- Negative thoughts aren’t growing, which means your day can continue as normal once the keys have been found
- Because you aren’t focusing on the negatives, this allows you to then think to yourself “What can I do to prevent this in future?” (ie – set up a key hook)
This simple mindset shift for a common issue can be the difference between a good day and a bad day.
And it is this mindset shift that I have applied to my entire life.
Why I decided to change my mindset
After years and years of living a less-than-ideal life, I honestly just got fed up with it all.
I was fed up with my inability to follow through with my goals – I didn’t want to have to be anything less than proud of my life and choices.
Most of my lifestyle struggles came down to one thing – my mindset.
And once I understood what this meant, I knew that it was time to start focusing on fixing my future!
I won’t lie to you, it has not been easy. However, the more I have focused on it, the easier it becomes. Much like anything else in life.
In fact, even my decision to change my mindset needed a mindset shift in itself! And this is where you have to start as well.
What I have done to change my mindset
There are so many small ways in which I have changed my mindset, and that has allowed me to grow those ways into bigger ones.
Understand that the little things aren’t that big
Take the key example. If that had of happened to me 12 months ago I probably would have burned my house to the ground in an attempt to find them.
Then I would have gone out and burned everything else to the ground in my ongoing frustration.
Now instead of going on a mini-rampage, I call/message and inform people of the situation – to which they always understand.
Or I will simply delay and go later.
It is the “no biggie” attitude that has helped me immensely. It has helped me get a much clearer definition of what is stress-causing, and what is just an irritating situation.
See the positives in life
Everyone is always saying that life is too short – and it’s true.
As I get older, I am realising more and more that my time spent on being stressed and negative is literally time wasted. The time that I can never ever get back.
This has encouraged me to focus on the positives.
No keys? That sucks. But once I find the keys Luna and I are going to have an awesome time at the park!
In fact, now that it has been delayed – I might take her for ice cream too. Make a day of it, because she matters and life is too short to not eat ice cream with my daughter.
There are so many “cliches” out there, and as silly as it means to follow them, they are honestly the basis of a positive mindset!
“Be the change you wish to see in the world”, “Smile and the world smiles with you”, “If you change nothing, nothing will change” – and so on!
Using the negatives for good, not evil
Instead of stressing that I have no keys, I realised that my lack of keys was the cause of a bigger issue – my house was in chaos.
This probably doesn’t sound like a positive.
But what I have done is turn my negative into a positive change for my household.
No longer were we to live in chaos – we are now going to get organised and spend less time key-hunting and more time as a family.
Focus on your own capabilities
Instead of worrying about what I “should” be doing, I started to focus on my own capabilities and limitations.
If there is something that I honestly should be doing, I try not to let it stress me out any more.
Now I aim to put into place all of the steps I can take to complete that task – based on my own capabilities.
Want a better family life
I don’t believe that we should let others influence our mood or lifestyle in negative ways. But unfortunately, this can be inevitable.
I actively decided that I wanted a better lifestyle for my family, and that meant not throwing out negative and toxic emotions that can have a snowball effect within the home.
This was probably the hardest of everything for me, even harder than my next point – believe it or not!
Slowing down has felt like an impossible task, and I am still learning how to perfect it.
I read somewhere (can’t remember where – should have saved it!) that we should slow down and do things with intention because rushing rarely speeds up the task – it just makes it feel more overwhelming.
For example – if you are doing the dishes, they will take the same amount of time whether you are trying to speed it up or not.
So slow down and do it with the intention of having sparkling clean dinnerware.
My brain tends to move a lot faster than my body can keep up.
I have always got 300 plans and tasks on the go at once – and this leads to 1 very overwhelmed and burnt out mama.
Slowing down has been the hardest yet most successful part of my mindset change!
Realise that you matter
Realising that I matter is probably the foundation of all of my mindset changes.
It has allowed me to prioritise myself, focus on positives and strive to live my best life.
Understanding that you matter doesn’t make things change overnight, but it is the best first step you can take.
When you shift your mindset so that you are at the forefront of your focus, everything else falls into place much easier – Including your relationship with those around you.
What has a change of mindset done for me?
A change of mindset is not a “quick fix”. In fact, it is a long and trialling process.
However, the mindset shift has made so many aspects of my life more manageable and bearable!
- I no longer feel a daily strain on my muscles, because I am not constantly stressed
- I now WANT to exercise and live a more active lifestyle – it isn’t just a daunting task that makes me want to hide under the bed
- My eating has become healthier – I no longer drink soft drink every day and am even seeing weight loss results from this one change!
- Luna and I are spending much more quality time together
- My kitchen doesn’t look like a constant frat house
- Decluttering has become easier, as I no longer hold a false emotional connection to material objects
- Jack and I are closer than we have been since Luna was born (#parentlife)
All of this has come about because I changed my mindset.
I stopped seeing all of the bad in myself and understood that the only person that can improve my world was me (and my brain)
Are you ready to change your mindset?
I already know the answer – yes, you are!
Just remember that it does take time and you will need to actively need to focus on it for a while.
Whenever you feel negative thoughts creeping in, replace it with a positive solution!
After a while, you will see it all start to make sense and your world will fall into place.