You know that feeling when you go on holiday but by the end of it you can’t wait to go back to reality? That is what it is like living on an island.
Yes, it’s beautiful and yes I appreciate my time here. However it is crucial to get off island occasionally to refresh your mind and see family and friends (also of course to eat some good food!).
If I wanted to fly off island next week, it would cost me close to $600 for a one way ticket to Perth, $1200 return. That doesn’t include any accommodation, food or travel expenses.
If I wanted to fly home to see my family in Melbourne it would cost me close to $800 one way, $1600 return. Again, this is just for the flights and is a ticket for only one person.
It is a bit ridiculous for an Australian territory to pay such a high fee to travel to the closest capital city!
When you don’t escape the island, you feel like you are stuck standing still. There is no relief from the lifestyle that comes with it.
There are no road trips to the next town and it’s the same thing day in and day out.
There aren’t even any “real” seasons to break up the time.
It is the same weather every day with occasional rain. You don’t really appreciate how important seasons are to your mental health until they are no longer there.
They help you separate the year, give you a chance to get the full experience of different foods and events, and let pull out your favourite clothes that you’ve been saving for winter.
I can’t even remember the last time I wore a cute pair of boots!
Because of this lack of seasons time moves differently on the island, it is a bit hard to explain. The days feel longer with more time to do things, but the weeks and months just fly by!
You really need to focus hard to capture the moment and make the most of everything.
It has been 15 months since I last flew off island.
438 days of the same 10 roads, same routines and same frustrations.
As time goes on, I get more and more bitter about my situation. Everyone around me comes and goes, yet here I stay.
I don’t even feel jealous, just sad. Lots and lots of sad.
Before we had Luna it was easier. We had two decent incomes and flew off island at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately that isn’t the case now.
One income, one toddler and one huge craving for a Big Mac!
Jack is an apprentice plumber so he gets paid flights off island 3-4 times a year for two weeks at a time. He says he would rather stay here, that just makes me feel resentful and irritated.
He doesn’t even want to go, he has to, while I’m here being a single mother for that time. Banging my head against an imaginary wall and screaming inside “let me off this goddamn rock!”.
Despite my current frustrations it won’t be forever that I am here, I will get back to the mainland at some point.
Until then I try to stay positive, focused and most importantly I am trying to use this time to better myself.
The way I see it, the only thing worse than resentment is regret. Do I really want to look back on all of this and think “I had all the time in the world and instead of moving forward I let myself go stagnant”.
No. I definitely don’t want that!
My family keep me focused and help me hold onto my sanity.
My beautiful girl, wonderful fiance and awesome sister are all here with me.
Even though I am feeling incredibly stranded, I know that my time on this beautiful rock will end at one point and I will probably miss it, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.
So let’s get on with it. Onward and upwards!